Memories are worse than bullets.

There is an art of seeing things as they are, without naming, without being caught in the network of words, the whole operation of thinking interfering with perception.

“Breathe, breathe in the air, don’t be afraid to care. Leave but don’t leave me, look around, choose your own ground. For long you live and high you fly, and smiles you’ll give and tears you’ll cry, and all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be. Run rabbit run, dig that hole, forget the sun, and when at last the work is down, don’t sit down, it’s time to dig another one.”

Pink Floyd

When does our self-punishment end?
Why do we abuse ourselves and our bodies for simply being human and making mistakes?
Why do we punish ourselves in a way which we would never treat others?
So that we can feel a sense of control?
To keep from hurting those whom are close to us?
To lessen the severity of our emotions so we aren’t “too much” for others?
To numb out and find security?
Regardless of the reason, self-punishment doesn’t fulfill the needs we are looking to get met.It doesn’t give you safety at all, but instead leads you on the path to self-destruction.
It takes you one step closer to losing everything you have, and leaving forever.
It takes you further out of life.
It distances you from relationships and disengages you from being present in the moment.
It pulls you out from fun experiences and keeps you from making new ones.
It causes people to understand you less, and creates distances between you and the people you love.
It takes away any control you have every had, and leaves you at the will of your shadow – self.
It leaves you consumed in a black hole of darkness and despair.The self-punishment doesn’t change the hurt that you feel.
Perhaps it eases the hurt for a few fleeting moments or hours, but it is only a temporary fix to the pain and shame.
It doesn’t solve the problems causing you the hurt and guilt.
So when then, do we stop inflicting ourselves with this pain?
When and how does it end?
The truth, is that it ends when we allow it to end.
It ends when you decide it to be so.
We have that power.
You have that power, always.
“When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways:
Either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits,
Or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.”
In the light, we can find peace and acceptance.
We can learn to forgive ourselves.
And “when you’re at peace with yourself and love yourself, it is virtually impossible to do things to yourself that are destructive.”

Sometimes when you don’t ask questions, it’s not because you are afraid that someone will lie to your face. It’s because you’re afraid they’ll tell you the truth.

“Some people feel like they don’t deserve love. They walk away quietly into empty spaces, trying to close the gaps of the past.” -Christopher McCandless

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