A comedian tells the same joke three times, the first time he tells it everyone laughs, the second time a few still laugh, the third time, nobody laughs. Why is it that we can’t continuously laugh at one thing but cry for the same reason over and over?

Donald Trump has been saying that he will run for President as a Republican, which is surprising, since I assumed he was running as a joke.

Donald Trump often appears on Fox, which is ironic, because a fox often appears on Donald Trump’s head.

If you’re at the Washington Post table with Trump, and you can’t finish your entree, don’t worry — the fox will eat it.

…Gary Busey said recently that Donald Trump would make a great President. Of course, he said the same thing about an old, rusty bird cage he found.

Donald Trump owns the Miss USA paegeant, which is great for Republicans because it will streamline their search for a vice president.

Donald Trump said recently he had a ‘great relationship with the blacks.’ Though unless ‘the Blacks’ are a family of white people, I bet he’s mistaken.

SETH MEYERS, at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner

PRINCE HARRY IS WEARING NOTHING BUT PATRIOTIC BOXERS

“If I were to create a rating system, I wouldn’t even put murder right at the top of the chief offenses. I would put rape right at the top, and assault against women. Because it’s so insanely overused and insulting how much it’s overused in movies as a plot device, a woman in peril. That, to me, is offensive, yet that shit skates.”

Kevin Smith (director)

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