Best Summer Vacation Story Ever: Meet Chris Jeon: A 21-year-old UCLA math major who flew to Libya to fight alongside the rebels on a whim.

“At spring break I told my friends a ‘sick’ vacation would be to come here and fight with the rebels,” he told Christian Science Monitor correspondent Kristen Chick.

Jeon says he purchased an $800 one-way ticket to Cairo, then snuck across the border into Libya. Because he doesn’t speak a lick of Arabic, Jeon has relied on sign language and broken Italian to communicate with his new-found brothers-in-arms.

As for the rebels, they’ve welcomed the foreigner with open arms, even conferring upon Jeon an honorary Libyan name, Ahmed El Maghrabi Saidi Barga.

The Orange County native, who calls the Libyan Uprising “one of the few real revolutions,” plans to return home soon enough, but not before helping the rebels take the loyalist stronghold of Sirte.

Chick reports that Jeon was not worried about the upcoming battle. “I believe in destiny,” he told her. His mother and father, on the other hand, are an entirely different matter.

“Whatever you do, don’t tell my parents,” he begged The National’s Bradley Hope. “They don’t know I’m here.”

“World’s Heaviest Mother” Donna Simpson, who as recently as June weighed just over 600 pounds, has announced on her website that she will give up her 15,000-calorie-a-day habit (NSFL photo at source) and go on a diet in hopes of shedding at least 170 pounds.

“I recently split with my fiancée of five years and moved with my two children back to my home town in Ohio,” she writes. “This life changing move made me realize something important. The health and welfare of my family was always my priority and they were well taken care of by my ex. Now that I have sole responsibility of taking care of my children, I must drastically change my lifestyle.”

Simpson’s decision will not only affect her bottom, but also her bottom line. NY Daily News reports that professional overeater took in approximately $90k last year from subscriptions to her website, which allows members to watch Simpson eat.

Speaking with Huffington Post, Simpson says that while she is serious about her diet, she doesn’t want “to be thin,” and will gladly reverse course should she find herself in a relationship with a man who wants her to regain the weight.

Happy Now Sad Later: Denny’s outdoes its own fried death sandwich with the 1690-calorie Mac ‘n Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt: A hamburger patty topped with creamy mac ‘n cheese and “zesty Frisco sauce” stuffed inside a grilled cheese sandwich on potato bread. An extra shot of “ooze” (whatever that is ) costs 69 cents.

The arteriosclerosis, however, is free of charge.

BAMF of the Day: 22-year-old Brooke Collins of Juneau spotted a black bear biting her dachshund’s neck, so she did what any normal dog lover would do: She ran over and punched the bear square in the nose.

“It was a stupid thing but I couldn’t help it,” she told the Juneau Empire. “I know you’re not supposed to do that but I didn’t want my dog to be killed.”

Collins says that when she let her dogs out Sunday evening she didn’t see that a bear was nearby. It was only after she heard Fudge barking that she realized something was amiss. “That bear was carrying her like a salmon,” she says.

The next few minutes went by in a blur. she approached the bear and struck it in the face, causing it to let go of the pup. “It was all so fast,” Collins is quoted as saying. “All I could think about was my dog was going to die.”

She sustained very minor injuries, and Fudge made away with a few shallow claw and bite marks.

The disturbing trend of human feetwashing ashore along North America’s West Coast continues.

Today’s discovery in Vancouver’s False Creek of “a human foot and leg bones in a running shoe” marks the eleventh incident since 2007.

“There is no indication at this early stage in the investigation how the remains came to be there,” said Vancouver police Const. Jana McGuinness.

Foul play is not currently suspected in any of the previous cases — eight in BC, three in Washington. At least one of the feet was linked through DNA to a suspected suicide, and police believe the others may have a similar origin.

Street Art of the Day: TrustoCorp’s latest “public intervention” involves ultra-realistic send-ups of popular gossip magazines that feature heavy-breathed headlines for stories that have yet to be written.

Copies were inserted into racks at newsstands and bookstores throughout Hollywood, Manhattan, Williamsburg, LAX, and JFK, so if you happen to be in one of these areas, you may just get to read tomorrow’s news today.

See hi-res images of the faux-mags here.

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